Love affirmations
Love here means the people in your life and the way you treat yourself while you're with them. Some of these are about letting people close. Some are about saying no.
24 affirmations: 8 thoughts, each in a gentle, steady and bold version. Updated
What are good love affirmations?
Good love affirmations are short and believable, for example "I'm open to love", "I say no kindly, and I mean it", and "I let the right people get close". Say two or three of them out loud, five to ten times each, once a day. If a bold wording feels false, start with the gentle version.
Which version should you say?
Start here if kind words about yourself feel hard to believe.
Plain statements for when the gentle ones already feel true.
For when you believe it and want to say it like you mean it.
- I'm learning to let love in
- I'm allowed to say no
- There are people who would like me as I am
- My heart is safe with me
- I'm learning to enjoy my own company
- It's okay to ask for help
- I'm learning to let go of old hurt
- I have love to give
- I'm open to love
- I say no kindly, and I mean it
- I let the right people get close
- I take good care of my heart
- I enjoy my own company
- I ask for what I need
- I let go of what hurt me
- I'm good at loving people
- I give and receive love freely
- My no is as clear as my yes
- I'm loved by people who really know me
- I love with my whole heart
- I'm at home in my own company
- I deserve the help I ask for
- I'm free of what hurt me
- I love well, and I'm loved well
Say one out loud now
The free affirmation counter listens in your browser and counts each time you say it.
Why these are worded this way
A lot of what gets in the way of love is quiet and practical: not asking for help, saying yes when you mean no, expecting to be left out. That's why this list has "It's okay to ask for help" next to "I'm open to love".
How to practise them
- Choose two or three from the list above. Fewer is better than many said half-heartedly.
- Say each one out loud, slowly, five to ten times. Hearing your own voice is part of it.
- Do it at the same time each day, like after brushing your teeth or on your walk to work.
- When a sentence starts to feel natural, switch to its stronger version.
Read more: How Many Times Should You Repeat Affirmations a Day?, Do Affirmations Work? An Honest Look at the Research
Questions
How do I use these affirmations?
Pick two or three that feel true, or nearly true. Say each one out loud five to ten times, slowly, once a day. Morning works well because it sets the tone, but any regular time is fine. Start with the gentle wording if the bold one feels like a lie.
Why are there three versions of each affirmation?
A statement you don't believe can make you feel worse, especially when your self-esteem is low. The gentle version is believable on a hard day, the steady one is a plain statement, and the bold one is for when you're ready. Move up when the current one feels natural.
Is it better to say affirmations out loud?
Saying words out loud helps you remember them better than reading them silently, an effect psychologists call the production effect. It also keeps your attention on the words instead of drifting.
How long until affirmations work?
There's no fixed number of days. Habit research found that a daily behaviour took a median of 66 days to feel automatic. Most people notice the words feel more natural after a few weeks of daily practice.
Let your phone keep count
Mantrify is an iPhone app that reads each affirmation to you, listens while you say it and counts every repetition, so you can practise with your eyes closed. Coming soon.